A real email sent to the fine folks responsible for Kashi cereal:
Dear Ms. Kashi
Thank you for your response. After absorbing the news that Kashi Medley has been discontinued, I have sought solace by expressing my feelings in poetry, as follows:
ODE TO KASHI MEDLEY
Circles of oat and flakes of corn,
Plump raisins and apple bits adorn,
Granola clusters and puffs of wheat,
All the things I liked to eat.
As I would wake and rise from my bed,
Visions of Kashi Medley filled my head.
But without the medley in my bowl.
I feel the loss to my very soul.
I take my shower with no more zeal
Now that breakfast is just another meal.
Walking the dog is just not as fun
When my only reward is a honeybun.
Bring back Kashi Medley, please!
I don't want any more toast and cheese.
I will mourn my mornings until I see
More Kashi Medley in front of me.
KASHI MEDLEY HAIKU
I was so content.
Kashi Medley is no more.
I will go hungry.
9:11 AM
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