Tuesday, December 18, 2007

I know everyone else has done this already, but I am totally over Rachel Ray. The sound of her voice is a shrill, nasal buzzsaw that cuts straight through my frontal lobe every time I see her, and I see her EVERYWHERE. Are the congenitally retarded housewives of America so retarded that they actually need a recipe for complex dishes like this one, featured on her show RACHEL RAY MAKES STUPID, SHITTY FOOD WITH A MICROWAVE BECAUSE AMERICA DEVOURS ITS OWN YOUNG THROUGH STUPIDITY:

Iceberg Lettuce Chopped Salad with French Dressing Recipe

Seriously--it's a fucking recipe for ICEBERG SALAD WITH FRENCH DRESSING. Some of her other recipes include

A GLASS OF WATER
REHEATING LEFTOVER HOT POCKETS
EXTRA VIRGIN OLIVE OIL DRIZZLED ON SOME MORE SHIT

Then there's this:

Do you see that? She's wearing a T-SHIRT WITH HER OWN "CATCH PHRASE" ON IT. On her own shirt. Only a candidate for retroactive abortion does that.

I'll end with this comment from a post that set me off:

Last night, Anthony Bourdain's show took him to Charleston, South Carolina, shortly after Rachel Ray had been through. Eating at one of the restaurants she recommended in her $40/day book, he asked the waitress how much Ray tipped. Any guesses?

10%.

And that's low even if you haven't created a logistical nightmare for the place by filming there.

Deeply unsurprising, but appalling all the same.

10:48 AM

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