HYPERBOLIC BUT DEEPLY FELT TECHNOLOGY RANT
Dear Roger L. Kay of Endpoint Technologies:
I understand you're bought and paid for, and so you don't get to use real logic in your arguments, but you have some severe holes in your "white paper". There are some choice moments:
"Fewer crashes, less clutter, and, as time wore on, fewer viruses."
Really? You're comfortable saying it this way? Doesn't it embarrass you, that for the rest of your life people will see online that Roger L. Kay is so stupid and easily bought that he's comfortable saying Macs have "fewer" viruses when actually it's more like they have NO ACTUAL VIRUSES IN OS X and a vanishingly small number of never encountered in the wild Trojan horses? You're okay that for the rest of your life your name is associated with something even children know is demonstrably false? Does that bother you?
This is my favorite part:
But the Apple fans never stopped to ask themselves, why, then, didn’t Mac take the 98% and Microsoft, the 2%? What was there about the closed, integrated, cool system that made it less lovable to the mighty hoards?
There are lots of conspiracy theories on this subject, but it came down to two factors, really. Apple’s premium pricing strategy and the perhaps-related subsequent loss of breadth in the company’s product offerings, partnerships, and customer base.
OR it is the entrenched MONOPOLY that Microsoft has on the industry--you know, the one they have been CONVICTED FOR ABUSING. REPEATEDLY. But heaven forbid you mention any of that...after all, look who pays you. We can't pretend you're not a dog, lapping up any vomit you find to keep the bills paid. Otherwise you'd be free to write an actual white paper on these topics. You know, with journalism, like you were theoretically practicing in BUSINESS WEEK.
Then there is the great breakdown of the family's costs over five years.
1) Why the fuck is the family getting a MAC PRO instead of an iMac? Oh, that's right--because you're a fucking hack.
2) Where is the family's yearly fees for antivirus software? I don't see that anywhere, you ass.
3) I do see MobileMe for five years. Why? That doesn't make any sense.
4) One to One care? Are you serious?
5) You think a Blu-Ray player from Sony will be $300 in FOUR YEARS? Are you fucking high?
6) Ditto the RAM, Ditto the ATI Radeon.
7) How is there are charge for $70 for Other Software in the Apple column, and NOTHING in the Microsoft column? These people are buying no software for FIVE YEARS on the PC side? NONE? If they have all the software they need today, why the fuck are they buying all these computers?
8) iLife the first time, I get that. iLife upgrade makes no sense--on the PC side they'll be using whatever comes bundled, so they can just stick with the first iLife.
9) When I give the people rational computer choices, it is suddenly $2100 for the Macs and $1750 for the PCs--if you are actually being honest with your numbers, which given what a shit you've been, I doubt. Either way, hardware-wise there's a couple hundred dollar gap, and then PCs pay for antivirus for five years, and the rest of this shit is the same or a few dollars more once I knock off all the crap you trumped up.
I don't know if PCs and Macs are the same price. I do know if you get a Mac you can run Windows at any time, which means you actually get two OSes at if you want them, but I don't know how to value that, or how to value ease of use.
I don't have numbers in front of me...but I'm not writing a WHITE PAPER ON THE SUBJECT. You are, Roger L. Kay, you sack of shit. Is it fun, being bought and sold? It's shits like you that stick in the ass of the technology industry and make it such a loathesome place. I hope you have children, just so they can learn what an enormous tool their father is, and have a chance to do something better with their lives to make up for your assclownery.
If I ever see you in Business Week again it had better be accompanied by a disclaimer that Roger L. Kay of Endpoint Technologies is owned by Microsoft, wholly and completely.
You're a disgrace to journalists. You're a disgrace to analysts.
You fucking hack.
2:56 PM
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